Why Wedding Toasts Bomb & What You Can Do About It – 10 tips for success! By Tom Haibeck & Dave "Star".
As a mobile entertainer, i've no doubt seen it all with wedding toasts: The drunken uncle who makes a total fool of himself. The panic-stricken maid of honor visibly shaking holding the mic. The father of the bride who delivers a twenty minute sermon on marital success. The best man who offends the entire room with off-color jokes and inappropriate stories. The painfully boring elderly aunt who rambles on and on and on and on and on…ugh!
Unfortunately, many families underestimate the potential for those kinds of situations to arise at their wedding. So it behooves someone like me, as the master of ceremonies professional you've hired to help plan, conduct and oversee the wedding reception, to be proactive in helping my client steer clear of those disasters.
Here are ten tips to help ensure your wedding toasters shine:
1. Choose the right people to toast. I encourage the bride and groom to give serious thought to who they chose to speak during the wedding reception. The act of public speaking can be absolutely terrifying to some people—yet they’re cast into a role (as best man or maid of honor) that requires them to deliver a speech to several hundred people. I Give them an “out” if necessary—or offer to pre-record their toast in advance. Yes...we have done that!
2. I prefer to limit the number of people toasting. No matter how good a lineup of toast presenters might be, there is a limit to the guests’ attention span. My rule of thumb is that the “formal” part of a wedding reception (like most any corporate event) should be scheduled for after dinner, and that the total time allotted for it should be NO MORE than 15 minutes. Tailor your speaker lineup accordingly.
3. I Take control of the microphone and work with the bride and groom (and other decision-makers) to nail down a pre-approved event agenda that clearly spells out who is going to offer toasts. I Usually Do NOT give up the mic to anyone not on that list.
4. I like to brief speakers in advance. Most people asked to make a wedding toast have no idea what to say and what to expect. Educate them in advance about the need to focus their toast on the bride and groom (“It’s about them, not you”); to personalize their toast and honor the wedding couple (“It’s a toast, not a roast”); and to limit their talk to a maximum of three or four minutes. I might also give them a copy of the event agenda to help give them a sense of the overall event and their place within it, (if needed).
5. I encourage them to get started early. Most people tend to procrastinate in preparing a wedding toast. Then they panic and scribble something down on the back of a napkin on the day of the wedding. Suggest to them that the quality of their toast will be in direct proportion to their level of preparation. A well-considered, thoughtful toast that’s rehearsed in advance is their prescription for success at the podium.
6. I Pre-approve their material. Some wedding emcees require all wedding toasters to submit their speech in writing in order to earn the right to speak. While that can help ensure quality control, it might be a little much for some folks. As an alternative, you might simply offer to review their toast and provide feedback if they send it to you no later than ten days prior to the wedding.
7. I Encourage them to rehearse in advance. One of the reasons people tend to ramble on too long with their toast is that they simply have no sense of what they can actually cover in three or four minutes. Suggest they rehearse in advance and time themselves.
8. I Coach them on the day of the wedding. People who rehearse their toast in the actual room where the reception is to take place tend to be a lot more comfortable when they go live. Encourage them to do so—and allow them to rehearse with the microphone (with some coaching).
9. Have you ever tried to hold a microphone in one hand and your speaking notes/champagne flute in the other? I Make it easy for toasters by providing an actual Mic Stand for them to use.
10.What are the bride and groom’s expectations of the possible transition should a speaker drone on too long, use off-color material or appear inebriated. We should agree on some sort of hand signal, possibly a song that comes in ...like the OSCARS...should they wish for you to bring up the music and cut power to the mic. Guests will understand if the situation warrants it. Want more great event ideas? Sign up for my free newsletter! FREEEEEEEE! www.starproductionsdjs.com.
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Thank you for posting on our site. Please keep your posts specific and tailored to alot of different readers who are getting married..thanks!